{"id":6610,"date":"2025-11-23T10:12:07","date_gmt":"2025-11-23T09:12:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sandrasinger.blog\/?p=6610"},"modified":"2025-11-23T10:12:29","modified_gmt":"2025-11-23T09:12:29","slug":"if-i-no-longer-want-to-reach-for-pain","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sandrasinger.blog\/en\/if-i-no-longer-want-to-reach-for-pain","title":{"rendered":"If I no longer want to reach for pain."},"content":{"rendered":"\n


If I no longer want\u00a0
to teach through lack\u2026
then how can I teach?\u00a0
I can reach into my own presence
with my child \/ my partner \/ myself.\u00a0
Back to myself\u00a0
because I teach \/ change \/ inspire through example.\u00a0
<\/strong>
Do we teach our child
to say thank you\u00a0
for the meals their mother prepares?\u00a0
Do they know the whole process\u00a0
behind what\u2019s on their plate?\u00a0
Were they at the store?\u00a0
Do they know where things are placed\u00a0
so they can be picked and put in the basket?\u00a0
Do they know how long their mom\u00a0
stands there and cooks?\u00a0
Have they tried it themselves?\u00a0<\/strong>

Does my husband say first:\u00a0
\u201cThank you, love, <\/strong>
for making our meal\u201d?\u00a0<\/strong>
Yes.\u00a0
And then our son says it too.\u00a0
Even though he\u2019s still little,\u00a0
he takes part in everything at home.\u00a0
He knows what\u2019s in the fridge\u00a0
and where to find it.\u00a0
He knows how to clean, and he does it with us.
When something breaks – he repairs it\u00a0
with his dad.\u00a0
And then I come in and say:\u00a0
\u201cThank you, guys, thanks to you\u00a0
we have light again \/ our lamp works \/ we have warmth.\u201d\u00a0
When our son gets upset\u00a0
because he can\u2019t play with his dad as long as he wants,\u00a0
we tell him how much strength daddy needs\u00a0
to work all day, from morning till night.\u00a0
We show him what we have.\u00a0
What we\u2019re able to buy because of it.\u00a0
What we can do together.\u00a0
We talk about it\u00a0
no matter what the topic is.\u00a0
<\/strong>
We explain\u00a0
not in terms of sacrifice,\u00a0
but cause and effect – action and result.\u00a0
Because it\u2019s not obvious that he knows.\u00a0
We know because of our life experience.\u00a0
He doesn\u2019t.\u00a0
He\u2019s the small one –\u00a0
unless we begin bringing him into life\u00a0
through stories,\u00a0
presence,\u00a0
shared action.\u00a0<\/strong>

I can also turn toward\u00a0
my own emotional presence.\u00a0
Children learn by watching.\u00a0
At home – who do they watch?\u00a0
Mom and Dad.\u00a0
I can learn gratitude myself,\u00a0
so I can later share it with him.\u00a0
When I live in a state of gratitude and appreciation –\u00a0
my child will grow in it too.\u00a0<\/strong>

How do we learn gratitude?\u00a0
Every time a thought comes in\u00a0
to complain or criticize:\u00a0
See it \u2013 Stop – Change it.\u00a0
Add something positive.\u00a0
Look for something true and kind.\u00a0
One sentence that lifts.\u00a0
Shift it. Replace it.\u00a0
When you build it in yourself – \u00a0
Your Child will have a new example to follow.\u00a0<\/strong>

This desire to find a new way –\u00a0
that\u2019s a turning point in how we teach ourselves.
A generational step.\u00a0
No longer through pain.\u00a0
No longer through shame.\u00a0
No longer through lack.\u00a0\u00a0
But through presence.\u00a0
Through inner work.\u00a0
Through recognizing emotions
and naming them.\u00a0
<\/strong>
That\u2019s what my mornings are for.\u00a0
(I wrote about them earlier.)\u00a0
Silence.\u00a0
Turning inward.\u00a0
Finding my own calm\u00a0
from the very beginning of the day.\u00a0

I started once too.\u00a0
And the results are inspiring\u00a0
for myself,\u00a0
and for my Family.\u00a0
And I wish the same for you.\u00a0
\u2764\ufe0f<\/strong>
To live a better life.<\/strong>
One that becomes lighter.\u00a0
More free.\u00a0
More kind. <\/strong>
<\/p>\n\n\n\n




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