In the search for Meaning.
In the search for Myself.
In the joy of simply Being.
In the sharing of a Smile.
Despite everything.
In spite of everything.
Above all.
My Beautiful Bitter-Sweet Life.
For a long time, I believed
that in order to offer something valuable,
something good from myself,
I still needed to grow more,
read one more book,
wake up one day with a great enlightenment.
Until the day came or maybe a few days
when I realized: Every single day of my life has already been enough to begin. To take action.
Why was I afraid to start?
The fear of failure.
The fear of falling.
The fear stopping my feet.
I’m the mother of almost 4-years-old boy,
and every day I teach him
how to jump over and face his fears.
And then I realized – I needed to finally say it to myself.
That it’s high time to jump myself.
Was it my brother’s illness
reminding me how short our time is?
Possibly, I lost my Mom the same way.
Was it my frustration from still not starting?
Maybe about the lack of a plan in the plan?
Or maybe it was simply the need
to share the joy I’ve found,
despite all the difficult and painful experiences.
Yes, my life is bitter-sweet.
But I think that is true for everyone.
I could have broken down so many times
or stubbornly kept searching for the ways of those happy souls
who seemed to have it all figured out.
Clues, solutions, anything to bring me that magical moment
when you close your eyes and feel deep, overwhelming gratitude:
This is my place.
This is my life.
I have reached the moment in my life
where I can finally see the beauty of it,
not just around me, but within me.
A life filled with peace,
the love of my husband and my son.
We create our each day with intention – together.
And there is Me
in the middle of it all.
A woman in her centre,
feeling herself,
recognising and caring for her emotions and needs
or still learning all of it, day by day.
What for?
To be the flame in the hearth of my home.
To give warmth to my family.
To be the light, the sparkle that creates –
who ignites, who holds, who nurtures.
To give room to what was
so I can fully be in what is now
and trust that what’s coming
will serve my highest good.
Like a student in the school of life,
I move through my lessons and grow.
That is my success.
First inside, then outside.
Nothing is accidental.
“Life is a miracle”, people say.
But I’ll tell you
Life is Magic.
The one that makes your eyes shine.
The one that makes you feel your beating, living Heart.
The only thing we have to learn
is how to prepare the Elixir.
Each of us in our own unique proportions.
The recipe is not out there,
in the noise of the commercial, chaotic world,
it’s inside us.
Inside impressive,
incredibly constructed people
that we all are.
The only thing we’re missing
is the instruction manual
which every one of us can access
if we finally start focusing on ourselves,
instead of everyone else.
It’s about us – human being,
not about nationality, religion, or culture.
It’s about pure, simple humanity.
“You shall know them by their fruits“
– Jesus
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that.“
– Martin Luther King
“Conquering yourself is a greater task than conquering others“
– Buddha
“Imagination is more important than knowledge.
Knowledge is limited – it is what we know and understand now,
and imagination surrounds the world – including what we will ever know and understand.”
– Albert Einstein
“Be the person you are.
Never try to be someone else, and you will become mature.
Maturity is accepting the price of being yourself, no matter how high that price is.“
– Osho
“Not the world, not what is outside of us,
but what we keep inside traps us.
We may not be responsible for the world that created our minds,
but we can take responsibility for the mind,
with which we create our world.“
– Gabor Maté
“Your beliefs become your thoughts,
your thoughts become your words,
your words become your actions,
your actions become your habits,
your habits become your values,
your values become your destiny.”
– Mahatma Gandhi
“If you want to change the world
then go home.
And love your family.“
– St. Mother Teresa
- I wrote this text exactly one year ago.
In the meantime, miracles keep happening in my life.
In mine and my family.
I mean True Miracles.
Today, my brother no longer has
the incurable illness of my mother…
Today, my child is 5 years old.
Today, I finally jump, too.
I’m stepping out of my safe
little shell to write.
To say that it’s possible.
That it’s worth it.
And if I can do it,
You can do it as well.
🙂
