We long to be understood.
We long to be held.
We long to be accepted.
Why do we want it so much?
Because we didn’t get enough of it.
When we were little.
We didn’t get enough to live in peace
and move on to self-realization.
Our pissed-off state shows whether, deep inside,
we’re taking care of ourselves
– because that’s the only way we can today, as adults.
Are we carrying deep wounds,
frozen and buried,
that still fester inside us?
The primal wound of the mother.
The primal wound of the father.
Our inner child.
This isn’t science fiction.
It’s our life – lived in lack.
It’s our daily resentment.
It’s our everyday frustration.
Not like that.
Not enough.
Too slow.
Too cold.
Too far.
Over the mountain and across the river.
80% of our daily arguments,
complaints,
sadness,
and anger
come from the same repeating
unattended wounds.
We express them as adults – resentfully –
because someone forgot
to buy us chocolate at the store.
Aha! Gotcha.
So I don’t matter again.
I’m not worth remembering.
I’m not worthy of attention.
We collect every little thing that confirms
what that little girl
or boy inside
always believed was true.
We walk around
hungry and angry for attention.
But our partner, our friend…
they’re not our mom or dad.
And our mom and dad
won’t be giving us that now.
So what do I do with this hunger?
Where do I put this ache?
I learn – day by day –
to give myself that attention.
See – Stop – Change
Aaaaah!
(not to your partner anymore – but inwardly, to yourself)
There you are!
That’s where you were hiding.
I’ll buy you that chocolate.
I’ll buy it for you,
and we’ll eat it together under a tree.
Take yourself – in real life,
or even just in thought and heart.
Take that little child as your grown-up self.
You – the one who,
from today on,
will notice and care for yourself.
Hug that Little Child
as absurd as it may sound the first time.
But you’ll feel it.
There’s no way you won’t.
If you truly do it,
you’ll feel your own tears.
Tears you’ve never let yourself cry.
Because you had to be brave.
Because you had to hold it together.
Because you had to survive.
…wait, what was that argument even about?
Chocolate??
No.
It was never about the chocolate.
It was about sadness.
It was about loneliness.
It was about helplessness.
It’s rarely ever about the little things.
That’s why it’s worth diving inward.
To give yourself back the right
to be who you are.
To give yourself back the right
to discover yourself anew.
To give yourself back the right
to understand your own reactions.
So you can release them
and write new stories,
new beliefs about yourself.
I am worthy of that chocolate,
because I am worthy of everything.
I am worthy
of being someone’s most important person.
And when someone just forgets to buy it,
you’ll simply say,
“It’s okay.
I can buy it for myself.”
That’s the difference.
That’s where your responsibility begins
for yourself,
for your life,
for your reactions,
for your beliefs,
the ones that either build you
or break you.
Now, you begin to choose.
See – Stop – Change
Emotions.
Such a big topic.
Learn to manage yourself.
❤️
