– Part 1 – I’m Learning to Regulate Myself –
When we feel angry, we want to smack someone.
So they can feel it.
So they’ll listen. 🙂
Sound familiar?
When I regulate my anger on my own first
– by screaming it out
– by talking it out (very important:
not to be confused with winding myself up… 🙂 )
– by running it out
– by sorting it out within myself first
What remains are the facts.
Something hurts me.
There is a reason.
That’s why I need regulation.
So that, overwhelmed by emotions,
I don’t create a shitstorm.
So that despite our differences,
I can stay true to what I feel is hurting me.
So that I can preserve as much peace as possible in my home
and bring up only what is keeping me from moving forward.
This isn’t everything.
This isn’t the end.
But this one point matters
if we want to keep moving forward
and continue creating together.
When the storm clouds gather,
it’s hard to maintain that peace.
Our triggered Emotions want to take charge of us.
That’s why I need my silence.
That’s why I need to go out on my own
or scream the issue out.
Because I am the one who needs to manage
my triggered Emotions.
Not the other way around.
That’s when the real school begins for me
and when I get to train my character in life.
When everything is shaking
– to still hold on to the relationship.
When it hurts
– how do I say it
so that we can actually deal with the issue
instead of starting World War III?
“Say it with humility?”
Ha! 🙂
Yes.
Because the same thing is happening
on the other side.
From a completely different perspective.
To Hear – and to be Heard.
And then different solutions appear.
And then a completely different quality emerges.
