1 – See.
2 – Stop.
3 – Change.
We so often or almost always demand
change from the people around us.
How much time and effort we’d save
if we just started by focusing on ourselves.
That kind of change is hard.
That kind of change,
if it’s not motivated from within,
is almost impossible.
That kind of steady, permanent change
only comes with consistency.
Let’s try changing just one thing within ourselves first
and see how hard that can be.
Let’s first learn to appreciate that effort in ourselves.
I’m sure that once we see the effects,
most of us will change our perspective.
We do have influence
on ourselves.
We can shape and sculpt ourselves.
Ourselves.
Just changing our own reactions
will change how others react to us
The time and energy invested
in yourself is never wasted.
It always supports you.
You.
A natural side effect is that
things that no longer fit
start to fall away.
But instead of wasting energy on fighting,
use it to build yourself.
How do we change?
I don’t fight
to magically break a habit I’ve built over years.
I replace it with a new one.
I don’t fight the word
I no longer want to use,
wishing it would disappear from my vocabulary.
I replace it with a new word.
I don’t fight the tone in my voice
that rises when I get angry.
I replace it with a warmer one.
I don’t fight to make
my husband hug me more often.
Instead,
I go and hug him more often myself.
And I do this work
for as long as it takes.
I’m the one watching over it.
I celebrate my own tiny steps,
the micro-steps that are slowly rebuilding me
in the direction I choose.
This process needs
patience and consistency to succeed.
It’s about learning how to turn again
exactly when I want to,
not when the wind starts blowing harder.
It’s a small and powerful skill:
learning to steer yourself.
And where does that happen?
Within me.
Who knows about it?
Only me.
Who can make me do it?
Only me.
And after that kind of training,
we’ll never again want to expect change from others 🙂
Focusing on ourselves is enough.
Because when I change,
my whole world follows.
How do we do it?
1 – Notice.
2 – Stop.
3 – Change – Replace with something new.
And then a very important step:
I change – by replacing.
If I tried to change and instantly drop the old way
– a certain habit, word, or behavior –
it would be so much harder for me.
All the energy I’d spend trying not to do it
would be exhausting.
But when I add
– the new habit, word or behavior –
it becomes easier.
And then the old ones naturally start to fall away
because they’re no longer so important.
Because I’m already in a different place.
Because I now have new habits
that I chose.
Is it easy?
At first, it’s something you have to learn.
To stay consistent.
Later, it becomes a habit
and your good friend,
one that helps you reach your own goals.
